We often think the opposite of love is hate when actually it is fear. Love is in our nature, it’s a part of our being and our natural essence. However growing up we are introduced to fairytales where love is totally perfect and pure then all of a sudden (boom) we experience our first heartbreak, parents let us down, friends may turn against us; this can all lead to fears of rejection and pain. We then associate love with pain and fear giving us resistance to love. But love is an infinite energy, an energy we can offer to others and the world around us. The more love we give we can open our hearts to also receive love too. To love authentically we must first learn to love ourselves and release any past traumas and projections we may be holding onto around love. Self love can involve speaking kindly to yourself, doing activities that make you feel good, setting boundaries and even looking yourself in the mirror and saying “I love you.” Through total radical acceptance of ourselves we can then learn to accept and love others for who they are without feeling a need to change or control them; “true acceptance is always without demands or expectations” Gerald g Jampolsky. 

As humans we cannot experience love and fear simultaneously, we can choose which emotion we’d like to live in at any time.  The more we choose love over fear we can alter our minds guiding us back to our natural state of love more and more each time. Choosing love helps us to have a better relationship to ourselves and to everyone around us. It’s easy to let past traumas impact our new relationships (lovers, family and friends) which is why it’s vital we must release the past allowing the future to be free, open and welcoming love. By learning to love ourselves, authentically and release the past we can then be ready to welcome love into our lives, “Be ready for love when it does come. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love”-Louise Hay.

Here’s a practice to try for self love: Every morning come to stand in front of a mirror. Place one hand on the heart the other on top and look yourself in the eyes. Spend a minute saying out loud everything you love about yourself;  physically, your personality and all attributes. Take a deep breath before offering yourself gratitude, thanking your body for its good health and everything it does for you, thanking yourself for showing up each day and for everything you do in this world. Then to finish looking yourself in the eyes and say “I love you.” 

You may find this practice surprisingly hard but it will get easier overtime and you will notice your love for yourself increasing more and more each day. Learning to love and accept yourself will allow all fears you have learnt around love to be released, and therefore you can open your heart to letting love back in from all those around you.